In our fast-paced social and professional lives, we often encounter individuals who stand their ground with unwavering intensity. At first glance, this trait can be mistaken for confidence or a “strong personality.” However, there is a distinct difference between someone who holds a conviction based on logic and someone whose rigidity is actually a protective mask for limited cognitive flexibility. When we look closer at these behaviors, we begin to see how certain habits—often framed as being “firm”—are actually indicators of a struggle to process complex information or adapt to new realities.
Understanding these traits isn’t about looking down on others, but rather about developing the emotional intelligence to navigate difficult interactions. By recognizing the signs that low intelligence is mimicking firmness, we can better choose our battles and maintain our own mental clarity.
Defining the Intersection of Intelligence and Flexibility
Before we explore the specific behaviors, it is helpful to understand what we mean by “intelligence” in a social context. True cognitive depth is often defined by “intellectual humility”—the ability to recognize the limits of one’s own knowledge. High intelligence allows a person to hold multiple perspectives at once and adjust their stance when presented with superior data.
In contrast, when an individual lacks the cognitive tools to navigate nuance, they often retreat into a state of psychological “firmness.” This rigidity serves as a defense mechanism; if they don’t move an inch, they don’t have to deal with the discomfort of being wrong or the effort required to learn something new.
1. Refusing to Admit Personal Mistakes
One of the clearest signs of cognitive depth is the ability to say, “I was wrong.” However, for some, admitting a mistake feels like a total collapse of their authority. They view a change of heart as a sign of weakness rather than growth. Instead of analyzing where a process went wrong, they double down on their original error, insisting that their path was the only correct one. This refusal to pivot isn’t actually strength; it’s a failure to analyze cause and effect.
2. Constant Rejection of New Ideas
A healthy mind views a new idea as a puzzle to be explored. However, those who mimic firmness often meet innovation with immediate hostility. They prefer the comfort of “the way things have always been done” because it requires less mental energy to maintain. By rejecting new concepts out of hand, they protect themselves from the intellectual challenge of integrating fresh information into their existing worldview.
3. Loudly Dominating Every Single Conversation
There is a common misconception that the loudest person in the room is the most knowledgeable. In reality, dominating a conversation is often a tactic used to prevent others from challenging a shaky argument. When someone lacks the depth to engage in a nuanced back-and-forth, they use volume and interruptions to control the narrative. This “firm” conversational style is usually just a way to drown out the complexity they cannot address.
4. Viewing Issues in Black and White
The world is rarely painted in primary colors; it exists mostly in shades of gray. A hallmark of lower cognitive flexibility is the inability to see nuance. For these individuals, every issue is binary: right or wrong, friend or foe, success or failure. They frame this as “having clear principles,” but in reality, it is a simplification of a world that is too complex for them to categorize otherwise.
5. Relying on Aggression During Debates
When logic fails, aggression often takes its place. You may notice that some people turn an intellectual disagreement into a personal confrontation almost instantly. By raising their voice or using intimidating body language, they attempt to “win” the argument through sheer force of will. This isn’t a firm stance; it is a diversionary tactic used when they run out of facts to support their position.
6. Dismissing Expert Advice as Elitism
In recent years, it has become common to see people dismiss specialized knowledge as “out of touch.” While a healthy skepticism is good, the blanket rejection of experts—whether in medicine, science, or history—often stems from a desire to feel intellectually equal without putting in the work. By framing expertise as “elitism,” they can firmly cling to their own opinions while feeling a sense of moral superiority.
7. Treating Stubbornness as a Virtue
We often hear people describe themselves as “old school” or “set in their ways” with a sense of pride. While loyalty to values is admirable, stubbornness for its own sake is often a sign of cognitive stagnation. When someone treats the refusal to change as a badge of honor, they are essentially admitting that they have stopped growing. True firmness is based on a foundation of facts, not just the passage of time.
8. Using Insults to End Arguments
The moment an argument shifts from the topic at hand to the character of the opponent, the intellectual debate has ended. Ad hominem attacks—or personal insults—are the last refuge of someone who can no longer follow the logic of a discussion. They use these insults to “firmly” shut down the conversation, hoping to leave the other person too frustrated to continue.
9. Deflecting Blame onto Other People
Accountability requires a high level of self-reflection. Someone who struggles with cognitive complexity often finds it much easier to create a scapegoat than to analyze their own role in a failure. By firmly pointing the finger at colleagues, family, or “the system,” they avoid the difficult task of self-improvement. This deflection is framed as “holding others accountable,” but it is actually a total avoidance of reality.
Recognizing these signs isn’t about judging others; it’s about protecting our own peace and choosing where to invest our energy. When we realize that someone’s “firmness” is actually a sign of limited understanding, we can stop trying to win the argument and start managing the interaction with more empathy and less frustration.
Ultimately, true strength lies in the ability to listen, learn, and adapt. The most intelligent people are often the ones who are the most willing to change their minds when the truth demands it. Moving forward, we can strive to value curiosity over rigidity and open-mindedness over an empty show of force.
